I have started this post three times now, and nothing feels quite right. You see, I really can’t stand Mother’s Day, and I just had the best one ever.
If that is upsetting, feel free to stop reading here. This has been a hard year. However, if you are satisfied with your Mother’s Day celebrations and your relationship to the day itself, or if you deal with negative feelings towards the “holiday” and could use some hope, read on.
Grief is the furniture you inherited from your maternal grandmother living on your enclosed front porch for over a year because you didn’t want a daily reminder that she is gone inside your house.
Grief is slowly moving those items, one by one into your house, when it felt right.
Grief is the frame of the bed that you slept on when you spent two precious weekends caring for your Grandma when she was on hospice. It wasn’t too comfortable. The head of the bed was raised up on blocks to help with Grandma’s reflux.
Every once in a while over the past year, I’d take out the camera and take one or two photos of something because I felt like I needed to – a birthday, a book cover for a post, or a quick selfie with the baby because he is my last child and once he is grown there ARE NO MORE. But most of the photos weren’t very good because the apathy was just too thick and I didn’t take enough pictures to get a good one.
With everyone home together even more often than usual this past year, we have all struggled to manage our feelings. Fittingly, I’ve tuned this year’s homeschool health curriculum to focus on emotional regulation.
Can we talk?
So, I always feel a little weird and awkward about this, but I use Google Analytics on my site.
That doesn’t mean I know who you are when you visit me here, but Google does tell me what state or country visitors are from, and which posts people spend the most time on. Analytics came with the blog, and it’s kind of nice to be able to check in on it sometimes and know that I’m not just here talking to myself.
I know that a few people read my book posts, but the ones that get the most action are my sewing posts.
I haven’t finished a sewing project in so long that I can’t remember the last time it happened. There was a magical time leading up to Halloween where I made 6 costumes over the course of a couple of months, but then I totally shut down due to lack of sunlight and did very little after that.
I always tell myself, this is my blog, and I want to write about what I’m doing and what I care about. Even *I* am sick of writing about books, but I don’t have any sewing projects that are ready for prime time.
