Healthcare is highly specialized these days. As a healthcare worker, I get why. I work in a highly specialized field. If you have something wrong with your brain or nervous system, we are your people.
If you have a gaping wound on another part of your body, if your endocrine system is off-kilter, or your heart occasionally breaks into a gallop or takes up interpretive dance – then, we have to call in OTHER specialists to deal with those issues.
The benefit of this is that the specialists are really good at knowing what to do with these isolated issues, but I’m never sure if any one of them sees the entire person in front of them.
I’m not sure if anyone has ever seen all of me.
For once, I’m sharing three books in one post that are sort of related to one another.
Let’s start with Founding Father General Washington.
I’m easily overstimulated. It only takes a few variables to leave me close to a meltdown. In the worst case scenarios, I’m essentially blind and deaf – my vision and hearing literally shut down when I can’t take it anymore. Equations like:
loud music + 2 kids talking to me at the same time + being tired
OR
hunger + someone talking to me + trying to execute a left-hand turn
These can easily equal tunnel vision, no vision, or a brief loss of hearing. This has happened while driving and in social situations and it is terrifying.
After reading several books with protagonists who were on the Autism Spectrum, I started to wonder if maybe I was on one end of that, but it didn’t quite feel right. I don’t think it’s that I experience the world that differently from other people, I experience it MORE and LOUDER.
I don’t remember how I came across the books written by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., about highly sensitive people. There are a number to choose from, but I went for The Highly Sensitive Parent: Be Brilliant In Your Role, Even When The World Overwhelms You, which I then kept for way past its due date at the library.
This past week, I met with a mediation coach to talk about how I can be a better communicator, specifically in regards to my family relationships.
The two-hour virtual meeting was exhausting, but I came away with some new tools to practice. I can’t figure out why we don’t teach these skills to everyone while they’re in school.
I’m seeking out resources to begin honing my listening and conflict resolution skills. I’m bringing the kids along for the ride. They already practice their communication skills on each other every day, and maybe exposure to some new methods will reduce shouting and door slamming.
Last week was really terrible. My response to almost every situation was tears. I was miserable. One day, I went for a walk alone to the library and passed a house that had been decorated for Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras! The green, yellow, and purple decorations were festive and beautiful. Seeing it made me happy.
Over the weekend, things got better gradually. On Sunday night, I went out and bought supplies for Carnival masks. I thought to myself, that was it. I’m over (or through?) the pandemic wall. I’ve done enough grieving about not traveling this year. There’s no school this week. Things are going to be great. I’ll make a short to-do list and be kind to myself about it. I’ll be less stressed because I won’t be doing school with the kids in addition to feeding, supervising, and managing my household. Maybe I’ll want to craft again!
