I’ve talked about trying to fill spiritual holes with physical items. I’ve talked about knowing something in one moment, and trying to stay firm when I no longer feel sure.

I posted about that infernal raincoat, and suggested considering not purchasing any clothes for a year.  In fact, I was doing a trial run of it. Then I realized the new pants I got when I was doing the Curated Closet process, I unwittingly purchased before I was done losing the baby weight.

With all the pregnancies, you would think I know myself by now. I nearly always hit a plateau with my weight loss, and my response to it is typically the same: I assume I’m where I’m going to stay, and buy some new clothes to celebrate. After all, a few extra pounds are a mom badge of honor.

Then a month or two later, I lose the last five pounds and the clothes I bought are too loose.

Fortunately, I discovered an easy method of taking in the waist on a pair of pants by adding elastic to the back of the waistband. I “fixed” almost all of my pants this way and have eliminated the need to wear belts for the most part.

But my pants went from being comfortably loose to being borderline baggy.

Is that an excuse to buy more?

I don’t know.

But I *did* get some more.

I used a coupon.

I’m still trying to justify it.

From the time I first drafted the post about not buying more clothes till the time I’m writing this post, was about a month. Granted, there are only twelve of those in a year, but still.

I didn’t order any new raincoats. In fact, I return one of the most recent ones I’d gotten, which assuaged the guilt a little.

When the Bible talks about it being easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to go to heaven, I TOTALLY get it.

Living in a first world country with everything you need is a bitch. It’s hard to prioritize, and even harder to be a good steward with your resources. I try to live frugally, but I also stress spend fairly regularly, and I’m trying to work my way around finding a healthier way to deal.

We did Dave Ramsey, so we no longer have consumer debt, just the mortgage. In some ways, that doesn’t help, because I can say to myself, we are being financially responsible! We have an emergency fund. I’m not sending us into debt with my spending.

But I also know that if I have to make excuses to myself about why I hit purchase, why I was even filling a cart to begin with, then maybe there are some issues that need to be worked through even if my self medicating isn’t sending us to the poor house.