The photo above is of me in Branson, MO, wearing the pants I show how to alter below.

If you got the title reference, you know that I watch American Idol. I enjoy music reality TV. It often results in goosebumps. It’s full of feeling and movement and unexpectedly special moments. Know Pentatonix? We saw them first on the Sing Off, a show where acapella groups competed, nauseatingly hosted by Nick Lachey.

I was excited when I saw Idol was coming back.  In fact, while I don’t know Katy Perry’s (the new token female judge) music well, I really like her. As a fellow PK (BOTH her parents were pastors), I feel like I “get” her. And she has such a great spirit.

Even though it had been two years since Idol last aired, the Chaplain or I would make a Randy Jackson reference almost weekly. His “For me, for you, Dawg,” just doesn’t have a better translation in American English. Also, “I don’t know, Dawg.” or “That was pitchy.”

To get back to the Sing Off, we enjoyed that show so much that when they went on tour, we bought tickets and went to the concert. I am almost embarrassed to admit it. But it was such an adventure. I was fascinated to see who else watched the show (a whole theater-full of people, as it turns out). The concert was fantastic, and sticks out as one of my favorite date nights.

Where am I going with this? *grin* Stick with me.

There is ONE other reality show that I’ve watched that I enjoyed – What Not To Wear. So when I saw that the last season was available on Amazon Prime, I started watching it while I ate my lunch during quiet time. I’ve been swapping it out with the latest season of Call the Midwife (available on the PBS video app. Watch it!).

I think I was always kind of interested in fashion, even when I was too stuck up to admit it. I remember watching Stacy and Clinton years ago as they hand held and mocked folks towards blazers and a tailored pant. I may have disagreed with a lot of the style choices (before AND after), but I think it still helped me get an idea of what I liked and what was appropriate. Plus, I love the personal transformation aspect of the show (even though there’s that depressing “Three Weeks Later” segment at the end of each episode which so often lets us know that the fashion victim – I mean “guest” – dyed their hair back the way it was and almost never wears the $5000 worth of clothes they purchased on the show.)

So, I am watching their last season, and they actually featured a mom of nine on one episode, and the hosts made fun of her because, how does anyone not know their bra or pants size? Well, let me tell you.

I don’t.

I don’t know either of those sizes.

How is that possible? Well, seven pregnancies didn’t help. I gained more weight with each one, and strangely, lost more each time. This means that I experienced progressively bigger weight fluctuations in the 15 years since I started having kids. Add to this vanity sizing, which means I could be a range of sizes even within one brand. Gap, for example, even though I like their pants, is ridiculously unreliable when it comes to sizing. I recently tried using a current pair of Gap pants (along with my actual measurements) to determine what size I needed, and it was STILL wrong.Me, winter of ’82-’83, already struggling to find a pair of pants that fits.

Don’t get me started on bras. I have been using nursing tanks, sports bras, and Coobie knockoffs (those things that are sort of sports bras without the crazy support, but make you feel like you tried a little harder) to cover for the fact that I have no idea what size I am, and probably won’t have anything left to measure when I’m done nursing my last kid. I’m pretty sure after Seven is weaned, I’ll go to the store for a fitting and they’ll be like, don’t bother.

Stacy and Clinton may not have realized it, but the fact that the woman on the show had any clothes that fit was a small miracle given the fact that her last child was just a little over a year old.

So, all that to say, I have continued to struggle to keep a pair of pants in my closet that actually fits. And I keep finding my way back to this method to fix pants that seemed to fit at first, but then no longer do.

With my body type, the problem I have most often with pants is that they gap at the waist. The worst is when they fit when freshly washed, but as the day goes on, they stretch out and start to sag. Adding elastic to the waistband fixes that, while simultaneously eliminating the need for a belt.

Here’s how I do it.

First, I eyeball the pants. How bad is the gap at the back? How far around does the elastic need to stretch?For this pair, I lined up my chalk marks up with where the pockets attach on the front of the waistband.This is the worst part. With your seam ripper, you make an incision about 3/4 in. long on each side where you marked it.I have done this to 7-8 pairs of pants. Putting holes in a previously undamaged pair of pants doesn’t get any easier.I used 3/4 in. elastic I got in a huge roll from eBay years ago. I have lost count of the number of projects I’ve been able to use it for. I’m guessing 40+ pairs of pants and shorts. I don’t cut the elastic to length until I’ve tried the pants on later in the process. For me, this reduces waste.Once you pull the elastic through the back of the waistband, secure it in place at the cut end with a zigzag stitch with thread that matches the color of your pants. I usually go up and back 3-4 times. I leave the end hanging out while I do this to ensure I am catching the elastic in the seam – I had to thread the elastic twice for this pair because the first time I sewed it in, I left the elastic tucked into the waistband and it slid to the side and didn’t get tacked down. As is so often the case with sewing, the lazy way is usually more time consuming in the end than the right way.Once the elastic is secured, tuck the end into the remaining open side, then sew that closed with the same 3-4 trips up and back with a zig zag stitch.Once you secure one end of the elastic, try the pants on and pull the loose end of the elastic until the pants are comfortably snug around your waist. I just pinch it in place, pull the pants off, and head for the sewing machine to tack it down at the right length. It helps that I usually wear leggings under my pants at this time of year, so I am not making the trek to the sewing machine like the Emperor in his new clothes.

I secure that end with the same zig zag stitch, end of the elastic hanging out. Then I trim the elastic off, and just like before, tuck the elastic in, and sew the hole the rest of the way closed.Now, your pants won’t be on the ground unless you want them to be.