After yesterday’s post I felt like I had to follow up because today was so different from the past several weeks.
I woke up this morning and had finished molting.
This Halloween was clear and chilly, and a Saturday. In an alternate universe, it would have been the perfect day for trick-or-treating, but the sidewalks were empty.
I turned 40 earlier this week. It doesn’t feel different from 39.
Our entire family went together to a local park and did a hike, then we went out for ice cream. The hike was dreamy both because we were all there and because the weather and scenery were beautiful.
I had this idea in my head that I was going to write a thoughtful, reflective, and timely post about turning 40, but instead I spent the days leading up to my birthday feeling alternately ambivalent and depressed.
I have always been a bit of a late bloomer. My stinky attitude would have me believe all the ladies I see who seem to be wiser, more confident, and more balanced than I am are just good fakers.
Maybe they really ARE wiser, more confident, and have the secret to life balance, and perhaps they are further along the journey than I am despite the fact that I’m older.
There are a few traditions we have at Christmastime that everyone in our family really loves. Our family nativity photo shoot was such a hit the first year that we did it twice.
The second year, the kids were less enthusiastic, but willing.
This year, I put it off for weeks.
I was afraid One would refuse. Or something else would go wrong. The idea of gathering and coordinating costumes for everyone is a little intimidating. Getting costumes together and helping each person choose who will depict who is a delicate dance between filling all the spots and making sure everyone is satisfied.
We didn’t decorate our tree, and I wrapped the gifts in pillowcases. After the Christmas baking and traveling were done, there weren’t really any other excuses, but I still put it off.
The Chaplain and I talk about hibernation frequently at this time of year. We feel sluggish. All we want to do is sit on the sofa and eat carbs. The Chaplain can’t do that, because the Christmas season demands even more work from him than usual between his church responsibilities and work commitments.
I can slow down during the winter season, and I do, because my body won’t let me do anything else. I struggle with it every year. Surrender and Acceptance are all very well and good, except when Christmas is coming and you are the Magic Maker.
