Today is a day of mourning for Native Americans. It has been so for fifty years. As our country awakens again to the tragedies that have dogged us at every stage of our history, it’s difficult to find a holiday that can be celebrated without mixed feelings.
Truthfully, what holiday was ever free of baggage? These days were already burdened with the small and large issues we have with them, wrapped up in financial woes, boundaries with family members, or our own dark personal struggles.
If you go back to my very first blog post, I talked about the pressure of trying to make all the holiday magic by myself. In the couple of years since then, I’ve realized that I don’t have to do it alone.
After yesterday’s post I felt like I had to follow up because today was so different from the past several weeks.
I woke up this morning and had finished molting.
This Halloween was clear and chilly, and a Saturday. In an alternate universe, it would have been the perfect day for trick-or-treating, but the sidewalks were empty.
I turned 40 earlier this week. It doesn’t feel different from 39.
Our entire family went together to a local park and did a hike, then we went out for ice cream. The hike was dreamy both because we were all there and because the weather and scenery were beautiful.
I had this idea in my head that I was going to write a thoughtful, reflective, and timely post about turning 40, but instead I spent the days leading up to my birthday feeling alternately ambivalent and depressed.
I have always been a bit of a late bloomer. My stinky attitude would have me believe all the ladies I see who seem to be wiser, more confident, and more balanced than I am are just good fakers.
Maybe they really ARE wiser, more confident, and have the secret to life balance, and perhaps they are further along the journey than I am despite the fact that I’m older.
The second and last day of Carnival is Carnival Tuesday. Originally we weren’t planning on doing anything that day, but I found out that mud mas is Carnival Tuesday and man, I really wanted to do it.
