Personal growth.
You realize there is something in your life that you want to change.
You’re aware of it for months or years. You do a ton of work.
That thing you want to change doesn’t budge.
Some other things get better – you’re more authentic, less reactive.
But that thing you would really like to change? Still there.
I’ve been struggling with writer’s block lately. I’ve only been posting about sewing and reading because those things are easy to write about. How did I make this thing? I can tell you. What did I think of this book? I’ll let you know.
The other things on my mind are much harder to articulate.
Sunday passed with news of the two newest mass shootings, one of which appeared to racially motivated. (I say appeared because I have not gone back down the rabbit hole of news articles related to the shootings since I read two initial NPR articles).
I felt like I couldn’t just post as usual the next day, but what could I say or do? I wanted to load my kids in our truck and drive down to Washington, D.C. I wanted us sit as close to the White House lawn as they would let us and remain in silent protest until someone DID something.
Does this post look familiar? I scheduled two posts for the same date last month, and didn’t realize till they’d already gone live. I pulled this one down and rescheduled it. If you’ve already read this post but didn’t request the book from your library yet, consider this your friendly reminder.
Are you intentional about modeling how to deal with negative emotions to your kids?
Society, and our nuclear families growing up, have a big impact on how we process our emotions. Some families have certain acceptable emotions. Maybe it was OK to be angry, but sadness was mocked. Or only certain responses to negative emotions were encouraged. Snarky wit in response to feeling hurt? Cool. Crying? Not cool. Society also teaches us no one wants to see you when you’re angry or sad.
How do we teach our kids to function in a healthy way in a world full of broken people?
800+
That is the number of photos I have that haven’t been edited from the period leading up to our vacation and the vacation itself.
3 miles.
That’s how far I walked yesterday evening on a snowy bike trail by the Mohawk River, listening to contemplative music and hoping for answers.
2 weeks.
That’s how long we were in Tobago, having a time that was truly transcendent.
1 simple command.
That’s what I heard from God yesterday. The words provided me with my intention for Lent.
Zero.
That’s the number of words I have ready to publish about our trip.
The trip feels like a fantastic dream. The longer I wait to document it, the more it fades from memory. I glance back at the magic, then turn forward to Lent, a period of repentance and waiting.
Life feels like the bare branches of the landscape, occasionally catching the sunlight in a way that shows the ugliness to be beautiful. Summer is a quiet, hopeful memory.
Here’s my Pandora playlist for Lent. My intention is to let women speak wisdom into my life during this wait for Easter. The above photo is one I took on my walk. And appropriately, I realized after I clicked publish that this “numbers edition” is the 200th post on the blog.
If you’ve been to enough Christian concerts and speaking events, this has probably happened to you: a room that is full of people, and full of the Holy Spirit.
If you aren’t a believer, that idea might make you feel uncomfortable, but stick with me. There’s a lot of things about the world that make all of us uncomfortable, and if we can’t let ourselves squirm a little while we try to put ourselves in one another’s shoes, then we should stop asking for acceptance from the people we are secretly (or not so secretly) judging. But that is another blog post altogether.
