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Teaching Your Kids How To Deal With Negative Emotions

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Teaching Your Kids How To Deal With Negative Emotions - What The Red Herring
Teaching Your Kids How To Deal With Negative Emotions

Does this post look familiar? I scheduled two posts for the same date last month, and didn’t realize till they’d already gone live. I pulled this one down and rescheduled it. If you’ve already read this post but didn’t request the book from your library yet, consider this your friendly reminder.

Are you intentional about modeling how to deal with negative emotions to your kids?

Society, and our nuclear families growing up, have a big impact on how we process our emotions. Some families have certain acceptable emotions. Maybe it was OK to be angry, but sadness was mocked. Or only certain responses to negative emotions were encouraged. Snarky wit in response to feeling hurt? Cool. Crying? Not cool. Society also teaches us no one wants to see you when you’re angry or sad.

How do we teach our kids to function in a healthy way in a world full of broken people?

I recently found When Sadness is at Your Door, by Eva Elund (Bonus: She’s Dutch!), at our library, and it was love at first sight. Here’s a book that isn’t afraid to talk about negative emotions. In a gentle way, it encourages kids to be curious with their emotions and thoughtful in how they deal with them. The illustrations are whimsical and emotive. The practical examples in the book are easy for kids to put in to practice. There was nothing about it I didn’t like.Reading books to my kids about emotional health isn’t the only way I teach them. I’m very aware that the way I deal with emotions is always on display. Like it or not, my kids are taking mental notes on my response to how I’m feeling and how I react to their displays of emotion.

They know about my self care routine, and I encourage them to tailor their own self care to their needs. As I’ve matured, I’m finding it easier to deal calmly with all the emotions that blaze up in our home – and with so many of us, there are a lot of feelings in the soup.For whatever improvement I’ve experienced in the way I deal with my moods, there are still times when I feel overwhelmed with negative emotions: regret, sadness, guilt, anger. I’ve learned to take a step back from making judgements about my feelings, and I no longer identify as closely with my feelings as I once did: they are more something that happen to me. I want my kids to have some of that understanding a little sooner than I did, and this thoughtful little book is one of the ways I’m working to make that happen.

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