Archive 2023 - What The Red Herring
Homeostasis

Homeostasis

TMS had a way of teasing out my problems. I had been blaming my daily naps on rheumatoid arthritis, but it turns out a lot of it was depression. I do still have to take naps several times a week, but it is no longer a daily obligation. I never would have guessed depression was playing such a significant role in my full body shutdowns, although looking back, it does make sense.

TMS took care of the depression. My goofiness is back. I had kind of forgotten about it? This Laura laughs and is weird and silly. (I told you I wasn’t afraid of her.) On the other hand, I’m feeling my feelings all the time now.

We Just Need A Little Christmas

We Just Need A Little Christmas

My very first post on the blog was about my struggle to provide the traditions and memories of Christmas for my family, without losing my mind.

Several years after that, I posted similar sentiments. We struggled to get a tree in a timely fashion, which meant we had to drive from tree farm to tree farm only to find all the U-cut trees sold out and the precut pickings slim. It was hard to get the holiday foods made. One year we never decorated the tree at all.

This summer I got TMS and blasted the depression out of my brain, although I hated every second of it. I’m pretty sure this is the first Christmas I haven’t been depressed in my entire adult life.

Thin Skin

Thin Skin

My emotional cell membrane is vapor-thin these days. Everything makes me cry. Mainly the pain in the world, and there is a whole lot of that.

It feels like every interaction is a reminder of how difficult life is. Positive interactions make me cry because I can’t take kindness for granted anymore. Negative interactions make me cry, often because it’s frustrating when seemingly simple things are complicated because of rigid thinking or bureaucracy or both.

Bringing Indigenous Voices to Homeschool

Bringing Indigenous Voices to Homeschool

I give the following books the highest praise my home can offer – both my kids and I loved each story.

Something Old, Something New

Something Old, Something New

When I sat down with my laptop after the costuming event I went to in order to edit pictures, I turned to the Chaplain and remarked that I could tell from my face that I’d waited till after the event for photos. I showed him what I meant in a couple of pics – In too many of them,  fake smiles, a desperate glint in my eye, and blank looks stared back at me.