I’ll talk about the book pictured above in a minute, but can we first talk about how it’s also a photo of a housewife reading a tawdry romance novel?
One of the hunks I’ve bitten off in the past year is shame. I want to look at how it’s showing up and how I’m dealing with it. One of the most recent examples is that I went from reading mostly historical fiction for much of my adult life, to this year reading a LOT of nonfiction, especially spirituality books.
I wasn’t giving myself a break from this type of reading and was feeling overwhelmed with my reading list and also a little burnt out. When I gave romance a try this spring as a way of giving my brain a break from the nonfiction, I felt a certain amount of shame.
Pictured above, the scene of the crime. We don’t co-sleep with the baby, but I added him to make the scene feel less threatening.
Towards the end of this past summer, I got a weighted blanket. It was around the same time I saw that guy with the weighted vest and wondered why anyone would add to the weight they were carrying, metaphorically OR physically. But anxiety was kicking my butt and I was exhausted at night, but often crawling up the walls.
If you’re familiar with weighted blankets, you’ll know they aren’t cheap, which is why I had one on my wish list for a very long time before clicking purchase. They differ from comforters and duvets – they are smaller and come in a range of weights. There is info online to help you calculate how much weight you need depending on your size.
I went whole hog with a 20-pound blanket. I thought I would get the full size, which would just cover the top of our queen mattress with no overhang, and that the Chaplain and I could share it.
If you’ve been to enough Christian concerts and speaking events, this has probably happened to you: a room that is full of people, and full of the Holy Spirit.
If you aren’t a believer, that idea might make you feel uncomfortable, but stick with me. There’s a lot of things about the world that make all of us uncomfortable, and if we can’t let ourselves squirm a little while we try to put ourselves in one another’s shoes, then we should stop asking for acceptance from the people we are secretly (or not so secretly) judging. But that is another blog post altogether.
I’ve been hearing about gong baths for nearly a year now, and I finally got to go to one this past weekend.
I wasn’t sure what they were really about, other than that there was no soap and water involved.
After the retreat, we were given a list of resources to help with “re-entry.” One of the suggestions was to try to find ways to come back into the space we’d accessed through psychedelics in different ways – through mindfulness, meditation, dance, and other practices. One of the “other practices” listed was gong baths.
I knew there was one happening near me and so I signed myself and the Chaplain up.
Life is this simple: We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and the Divine is shining through it all the time. That is not just a nice story of a fable. It is true. -Thomas Merton, quoted in After the Ecstasy, The Laundry, by Jack Kornfield
When I was in counseling last year, my counselor would give me homework.
One of my assignments was to stop all the Doing in my faith walk – the Reading, Praying, all the activity, and just rest in God’s presence.
I couldn’t do it.
I did try.
I would sit, but moments later I would be up again, to write something down, put something away, fix something that was crooked, to trim my nails, anything so that I didn’t have to be alone with my thoughts.
