The photo above was taken on June 15, 2017 at 8:29 a.m.
On June 14, 2017, around 8 p.m., I was at the hospital doing a Mock Code.
We’re required to do it once a year. In addition to knowing how to do CPR, which is a separate training, the Mock Code teaches us how to work together as a team during a code in a hospital setting. Knowing how to work with others and the sequence of events for emergency situations is essential for hospital workers.
I enjoy much of my nursing continuing education, because it makes sense. So much of our educational career, we are doing things and learning things that feel pointless and disconnected from our real lives. Almost all the training and education I do for my nursing career at the hospital feels important and necessary.
I need to know how to use the equipment. I need to remember the skills we use regularly to treat our patient population. And like I mentioned, automation is the key to success in emergent situations.
The thing that was different about this Mock Code is that at the time, I was nine months pregnant. At nine months pregnant, there is no more glowing beauty. There is the continuous preparation for and anticipation of birth. You are mentally done with incubating. Even with your first kid, you have some sense of the powerful process that will bring that baby earthside. It’s all you can think about. That, and how enormous you are.
This girl has been bringing us joy from the very beginning. 
The day she was born, I was struggling to surrender to the process of birth. Her older brother, born just 18 months earlier, had subjected me to the hardest labor I’d ever experienced, and I was terrified about having to do that again.
We knew the baby was coming; my parents had already traveled in and were caring for our other kids. The pressure was on. At 11 a.m., in frustration and desperation after hours of an early labor phase that wasn’t progressing, I messaged my husband’s family and asked them to pray. After that, I was finally able to let go. Real labor started almost immediately.
This child’s entrance into the world was the closest thing I’ve ever experienced to a painless birth. She was smiling from the very beginning. 
These days, she has grown into a fierce fighter and a nurturing helper in equal measure.
If there is a disagreement or a brawl at our house, chances are, she’s involved. 
I love her independent spirit and her ability to advocate for herself. Those traits will serve her well in life. 
Another important quality of a fifth-born child is the ability to shine brightly in chaos.
We are so glad to have this little spitfire in our family.
I have had home births for my last 6 kids, so it’s fair to say I have some experience with the process. With those births, I had three different midwives, and gave birth in two different homes. I gave birth with Medicaid, MVP, CDPHP, and MVP again. I gave birth in bathrooms, a living room, and a bedroom. On a birthing stool. Labored in a tub. Cut the cord. Had my husband do it. With doulas and without. With other kids in the room and without. Gave birth with my husband by my side, and with him downstairs taking care of the other kids, thinking we still had some time before the baby came.
I have prepped my house and gone over the supply list. I have had home visits from my midwives, and I have gone to their offices. I have read birth books to prepare that left me feeling strong and ready. I’ve read birth books that terrified me, put me off, or annoyed me (and after searching for all those links, I’m sure Amazon is convinced I am pregnant again. False alarm.)
From time to time, folks who know about my experience will ask if they can give my info to a friend who is considering home birth. I always say yes. I have had overwhelmingly positive experiences with my births, and if I can encourage another person or give them the information they need to consider a home birth for themselves, I am all over it.
Recently, one such mama called me after getting my number from a mutual friend.
