About 13 years ago on New Year’s Eve, after a difficult 16 months at a job I hated, I quit. That night, an unseasonably warm one in the 60’s, I went with a friend to Times Square for New Year’s.
We got there in the early evening. The crowds prevented us from getting close to the ball. It was barely visible from where we stood, crushed in the pack of people, breathing in the cool air, completely exhilarated. I felt such a freedom from the heavy weight of the job I had given up. The energy in the city was incredible.
Resentment tends to build, and it lingers. We often to think of it as a feeling we have towards others.
A game changer for me this year was realizing that resentment isn’t a feeling toward anyone. It’s just something I’m experiencing.
This morning I was awake and downstairs by 6:30 a.m., listening to Pentatonix Christmas and making lasagna.
It is a bit of a heavy burden I put on myself to make Christmas amazing, because I remember how amazing it was for me as a kid. My mom put up decorations every year. There were Christmas cookies and caroling, and hot chocolate in the church basement afterward that would melt the plastic spoons we used to stir the cocoa with.
Dad always took the kids to get a tree, and we would choose the biggest one we could get away with. When we got home and put it up, we would watch with glee as someone cut the net off of the tree and its branches bounced down to take up a quarter of our living room. We would all shrug and grin and tell Mom the tree hadn’t looked that big at the tree farm.
