Recently I was talking to another mom at an event and she was telling me a little about her teenage son. I said something in response to what she told me that indicated that I wasn’t quite as involved in my son’s personal life as she was in hers. In that moment I realized we were both judging each other.
I was judging her for letting her son date at such a young age. I was judging her for judging her son’s girlfriend for not being Good Enough for him. She was judging me for my lack of involvement in my son’s life and my not getting up in his phone frequently enough. And judging her son’s (now ex-) girl for growing up in an unstable household without adequate support, leading to emotional issues and self harming behaviors.
She said the girl would call her son at 3 a.m. because her parents were fighting and she didn’t know what to do.
My kids could have done that this year. Called someone in the middle of the night because his parents were fighting again and he didn’t know what to do.
This spring, I read a blog post about romance novels, which led to another post, which led to another post. The gist of what I read is that more women should give romance a try: It’s written by women, for women, about women, and it’s about what women want. That’s pretty unique in the literary world, and the world in general.
I haven’t read a romance novel since high school, and the few I read then kind of shocked me. I didn’t make the genre part of my repertoire after that. After reading the articles, I felt perhaps I should give this underappreciated area of fiction another try.
Doubles are a street food you can get in Trinidad and Tobago. It’s a flat bread wrap full of channa, which is potato and chick peas in curry sauce. The first time I had it was the only year we were in T and T for Carnival.
We left to go back to the States Carnival Monday or Tuesday, and had a few hours in Port of Spain, Trinidad, to walk the streets before our flight. That year, we had three kids, and the youngest was a baby. Soca music was pounding. There were crowds. I was concerned about the kids losing their hearing with the music blasting from every direction.
The day was a little overwhelming, but I had two favorite moments:
Does this post look familiar? I scheduled two posts for the same date last month, and didn’t realize till they’d already gone live. I pulled this one down and rescheduled it. If you’ve already read this post but didn’t request the book from your library yet, consider this your friendly reminder.
Are you intentional about modeling how to deal with negative emotions to your kids?
Society, and our nuclear families growing up, have a big impact on how we process our emotions. Some families have certain acceptable emotions. Maybe it was OK to be angry, but sadness was mocked. Or only certain responses to negative emotions were encouraged. Snarky wit in response to feeling hurt? Cool. Crying? Not cool. Society also teaches us no one wants to see you when you’re angry or sad.
How do we teach our kids to function in a healthy way in a world full of broken people?
Feelings of nostalgia usually come up in the spring as grad season comes upon us. For me, both the end of high school and the end of college felt a little traumatic, so the memories are bittersweet.
The year I graduated from high school, my dad accepted a job on Long Island. While my classmates were making plans to hang out for one last summer, I was packing my belongings and saying goodbye to my childhood home. We pulled out of our driveway and headed south two days after my graduation.
That summer felt like a lost opportunity. The friendships that had suddenly become so meaningful and intense were abruptly cut off and I found myself in a new place, surrounded by new people who were friendly… but it would be starting over only to leave in the fall for college and start over again. I wasn’t keen.
