My emotional cell membrane is vapor-thin these days. Everything makes me cry. Mainly the pain in the world, and there is a whole lot of that.
It feels like every interaction is a reminder of how difficult life is. Positive interactions make me cry because I can’t take kindness for granted anymore. Negative interactions make me cry, often because it’s frustrating when seemingly simple things are complicated because of rigid thinking or bureaucracy or both.
Finally, the last day of the retreat, Sunday. Since the majority of the programming is on Saturday, Sunday has a more relaxed schedule, so I went with a “casual” costume, which if you don’t costume probably seems silly when you see the photos.
One of the things I wanted to do this year at the retreat was a costumed swim. My friend L from Staten Island and I invited the rest of the group to make historic bathing costumes of any time period. We even had a slot in the schedule to meet at the dock for our swim.
I spent most of my time getting my costume ready for Day 2. This was the day of the ball, and I wanted to go as a Regency Gent (ok, I wanted to go as a rake. A cad. A rogue).
Menswear is a whole different box of worms. I still have a lot to learn, but I had so much fun making and wearing this outfit.
I know I get a bit obsessive about these detours into the Possible Magic Pill That Will Fix All My Problems (all duds long term, for the TLDR), but I’m going to stick my head back in here for a moment and finish documenting the old TMS journey, for myself and for anyone else who is looking for accounts of the treatment that are somewhere between rainbows/unicorns and YOU RUINED MY LIFE.
