The Chaplain and I talk about hibernation frequently at this time of year. We feel sluggish. All we want to do is sit on the sofa and eat carbs. The Chaplain can’t do that, because the Christmas season demands even more work from him than usual between his church responsibilities and work commitments.

I can slow down during the winter season, and I do, because my body won’t let me do anything else. I struggle with it every year. Surrender and Acceptance are all very well and good, except when Christmas is coming and you are the Magic Maker.

As it turns out, humans didn’t evolve to hibernate. But our bodies naturally slow down in the winter months, and we have to decide what to do about it.

This year, I told my kids I was going to need some help making the magic. One of them led the charge making my great grandmother’s Philadelphia sticky buns. Another made the lasagna and sausage for our traditional Christmas Eve Luncheon Feast. We didn’t decorate the tree this year. We had our first toy-free Christmas, and the kids went Christmas shopping with the Chaplain as they do every year, except this year they picked up a lot of the stocking stuffers I’m usually responsible for. I still haven’t done our yearly nativity photo shoot.

Every year, I give in a little further to the urge to slow down and rest during this season. My body can be incredibly productive when it wants to be, but that time is not now.

There isn’t much growth, organization, fixing, or building going on. Occasionally, I’ll be inspired to do a project or repair something that’s broken. But mostly, I’m reading books and doing school with the kids. If I can find an excuse to stay home during this time, I will. Social activities and anything that forces me to leave the house feel like an act of will.

I’m still mulling over what this season means to me and how I can take the dark and cold of winter and have a different relationship with it. I don’t want to be at odds with an entire third of the year.

We did a few new things this year to honor the season. In November, our family went to a Lantern Parade to acknowledge the coming darkness of daylight savings. In December and January, we visited three different historical sites with Christmas and Twelfth Night Celebrations. There were candles, traditional music, historical costumes, and historical games. It was magical, but there was also the discomfort of remembering that in the time periods we were visiting, slavery was legal in New York. The experiences were both delightful and tinged with sadness for the ways the past was terribly limiting if you weren’t white and male.

The events we attended acknowledged and welcomed darkness, which I’ve come to see is an important part of wintertime.

I’m still working on projects, albeit very slowly. I’m reading tons of books. I even tried a different type of meditation this morning and I hope to tell you about it soon. Meanwhile, I’m still sluggish, and more nights than not lately, the Chaplain and I opt to head straight to bed with our books rather than go for our evening walk.

There is a time when one must listen to one’s body about how to proceed. I’m wondering now if sometimes at this time of year, we need to give our bodies the rest they need, but after that – maybe a little prodding is in order. I can’t think of many walks I’ve regretted taking. Most projects I start end up teaching me something or leaving me with a sense of satisfaction.

I chafe at the New Year, New You. There is no New Me. I’m growing, but it’s still me here. That leaves me to wonder: How much hibernation is OK, and when is it time to get up and do something even when we don’t feel like it?

Are you curious about how the kids reacted to getting NO TOYS this year? I prepped them for months ahead, and they made lists of non-toy wish list items that I paid close attention to. They did not complain. Everyone understand we made the decision because we had too much stuff. They love the things they did get, and we’re doing it again next year.