Recently, I was in a couple of situations that made me uncomfortable. Both times, I  allowed something to happen because I wasn’t willing to rock the boat to make things different.

So Stewpot Susie that I am, now I’m looking back and trying to figure out if there was a way (IS a way) I could be true to myself without hurting anyone’s feelings. Or if I should just go with the flow in order to keep the peace.

Maturity is surely the slowest process I have ever experienced. I have learned about my limits more quickly than I’ve learned how to live with them. I’ve definitely become increasingly aware of behaviors and ways of communicating that I don’t like about myself, but haven’t been able to stop.

I was reminded of the truism that the only person we can change is ourselves. Almost everything about being human happens in relationship, but when there is something about our interactions that leaves something to be desired, our ONLY recourse is to change ourselves. You just can’t change other people. You can let them in on what you prefer, but they can take or leave that information.

Ultimately, it’s just you. You can change you. And changing is the HARDEST. Humans are such creatures of habit we just keep doing the same thing over and over, ages after we figure out it isn’t giving us the results we want.

I would like to have a silver bullet for this situation that plays itself out in so many areas of my life – my parenting, my adult relationships – but the only thing I can change is me, and that’s hard.

That’s all.

Maybe it’s a reminder for me, and for you, the reader: If you are dissatisfied with any of your relationships right now and you have a little time for introspection, five minutes while you’re driving, the moments it takes you to wash and dry your hands, the centering moment of closing your eyes to take a sip of water, peek into your heart and see what is keeping you from the changes you want to make.

That’s what I’m doing lately.

So, you might be wondering what tasing has to do with “the only person you can change is yourself.” The truth is, they are probably only connected in my head. I recently watched this episode of Burn Notice with the Chaplain. I was thinking about Tyre Nichols, the current state of policing, and how traffic stops should never be deadly, ever. I was also thinking about toxic relationships and how the clip would make the best .gif. Alas, my tech skills did not allow me to make a .gif. I really tried, and this is what I got. But I still have the time stamp, episode, and season number memorized, so I am READY if I ever add .gifs to my skillset.