Today, I got together with some costuming friends. It wasn’t costumed meet-up, but because we are who we are, all of us were wearing some type of history bounding something or other, or accessorizing with a costuming piece. I wore this vest, a midi linen skirt with my favorite blue boots, and the hat I had just finished making.

I don’t have any photos of the hat yet, but it’s a free pattern from Thistle Thistle, so you can click over there to see a pic if you’re curious. Hopefully I’ll be able to get a decent photo in it soon.

Decent is relative, because it’s a pixie hat, and I’m an adult.

I knew going into it that the hat would probably make me look like a garden gnome, and I was OK with that. I’m working to add some fantasy oddities to my costuming wardrobe so when I’m feeling fae or hobbity, I will have just the thing.

Unfortunately, thinking about looking like a garden gnome and actually looking like a garden gnome are not the same.

My first hint that it was going to be an issue was that every time I turned my head while driving, the tip of the hat caught on the roof of the car and made the hat cock to the side. It constantly reminded me I was wearing the hat, plus the crooked hat looked even more ridiculous than when it was straight. My reflection was right there in the rear view.

I fixed the angle one last time when I got out of the car. When you look unusual, you have to own it. Any tugging or rearranging in public lets people know you are being worn by your look and not the other way around. But the wind was gusting outside and there was a real chance my pixie hat was going to blow off if I didn’t hold it on my head.

I ran-walked to the coffee shop where I was meeting my friends, and tried my best to stop thinking about how I looked in my hat. Once I was inside, there was no longer wind, but the place was packed with people who were dressed conventionally. Everyone else with a hat was sporting a beanie, except for one of my friends, who blessedly was wearing a medieval hood – but even that looked more conventional than a pixie bonnet.

Introverted, easily-overstimulated, I diverted a LOT of bandwidth to feeling OK looking funny in public this afternoon, and I kind of wish I hadn’t worn the hat. I had a good time, but would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t looked a bit silly.

It’s funny, because my batik print house coat is arguably a louder garment, and I felt like a queen wearing that. Our brains aren’t logical, are they.

As I’ve leaned into costuming, I’ve also started to dress a bit more… differently. Flamboyant doesn’t feel like the right word. But this hat was pushing the boundaries even for me.

When you try a new look, are there any brain tricks that work for you? You know, to trick yourself into getting out there with your head held high, even if that head is pointed because you are wearing a pixie bonnet? Or would you just prefer to wear clothes that don’t cause people to look twice at you?