Last year on this day, our family celebrated the birthday of our second daughter. She had submitted a detailed list of what she wanted ahead of time. Among other things, she wanted a party.

We’d just gotten back from our trip to Tobago. We were exhausted. Our state had just gone into lockdown. Like most of the country, we were utterly frozen. I hate birthday parties, and would have taken ANY excuse not to have one: The pandemic was an easy, universal, and necessary NO to nearly every social engagement.

Typically, we have a special family dinner and dessert for our birthday person. We’re inconsistent with gifts – sometimes it’s something quite nice, like a bike, sometimes we do almost nothing beyond the birthday dinner. It’s hard to be amazing with gifts seven times a year, not including Christmas.I’ve thrown maybe two birthday parties total. And that might be an exaggeration. Naturally, as my kids have gotten older, some of them have become more aware of the birthday party situation. It’s been a particular disappointment this year that not only don’t we do birthday parties, but we couldn’t if we wanted to (That could have been freeing! But it wasn’t.)

This daughter’s birthday was the first one that took place during quarantine last year, and probably the most disappointing. You remember what that first week was like. My work shifts were cancelled. My husband was ordered to work from home. His job is one that is difficult to do remotely, and we weren’t sure if it would survive the pandemic. It’s hard to overstate the uncertainty of those first weeks.

This year, a few things have changed. Our lifestyle is basically the same – we’ve been pretty cautious throughout the pandemic. We’re no longer concerned about losing our jobs. Both the Chaplain and I were vaccinated through our jobs, and collectively, society understands the virus a lot better. Public life feels less hostile with our fatherly and fragile-looking new president. We’re not freaking out constantly anymore.

Blessedly, our neighbor’s grandkids, close in age to our older daughters, had this week off at school and are spending it with their grandma next door. The girls’ friendship with our daughters has leapfrogged across school and summer vacations since they were in preschool.

Not only has our birthday girl gotten several gifts, a special breakfast with bacon, a one-on-one virtual tutoring session with Grandma, and a cake made by her sister – she’s getting outdoor socializing, masks on, six feet apart, with old friends. The weather is amazing. She has been glowing all day.

It would be hard to make up for the disappointment of last year, but if we could have, it feels like we did.

Glasses up! While last year was the pits, this year is… slightly better. Happy Birthday, Three.