Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James 1:22
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
Ah. Christians and the tension we exist in, between these two verses.
When our house got featured on Design Mom, I was excited. It was before I had my own blog, so it was a chance to flex my new photography muscles, and get in some writing.
When I found out which photos she’d selected for the post, I discovered she’d chosen not to feature our living room. Besides the kitchen, the living room is the core of a home. We spend a lot of time in ours. We do most of our schoolwork there, and it’s where I typically hang out during quiet time. Not featuring it seemed like it was leaving out an essential part of our home.
But when I looked at the photos I’d submitted, I realized why she’d skipped it.
A friend from my Netherlands retreat recommended Richard Rohr to me. She didn’t give me a specific book to read. I knew since Rohr was a religious writer, that the Chaplain would probably be able to help me out, so I asked him. Sure enough, he went over to his bookshelf, and brought me Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps.
I had reservations about characterizing Rohr as a religious author because that word has so much baggage. I want to tell you that if it is a heavy word for you, if it makes you feel angry, or defensive, take a breath and stay with me.
We tell a double story about sin in the church. You sin because of Adam and Eve. When you sin, there are consequences for it. Parent your kids harshly? There will be a cost. Demonstrate unfaithfulness, selfishness, or pride? At some point, it will catch up to you in some way, big or small.
At the same time, we proclaim that by grace we have been saved through faith and not by our works so that no man can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9). God wants us to know that we weren’t reconciled by anything we’re capable of achieving on our own.
We have victory over sin, but we’re going to keep sinning and dealing with the consequences of that sin.
So where does that leave us?
At my retreat, we had several evenings of authentic relating exercises. The day after the trip, we were broken into groups of two for one of the exercises. We took turns repeatedly asking the other person, “What is holding you back?”
“Procrastination.”
“What is holding you back?”
“My impossibly high standards for myself.”
“What is holding you back?”
“Fear.”
“What is holding you back?”
“Worry that I’ll disappoint my parents/partner/kids.”
Etc., etc.
The thing about this line of questioning is that if you go deep enough, you start to realize most of the things that are holding you back are in your control.
