Remember how I was a floundering blob of anxiety for the beginning of the mindful making retreat? That didn’t completely go away.

But the temperature of the anxious energy that was burning up my insides went way down.

By the time the retreat ended late Sunday afternoon, I was exhausted from all the driving and the social interactions, and already had a vulnerability hangover, but I was so relaxed.

The best part of this is that much of what we did is stuff I do at home, but it was how we did it.

Saturday and Sunday were full-day events, with our group broken into two sections of six. Each half of the group was with one of our instructors, either working on our #foragervest or hand stitching.

This beautiful pocket patch was done by a lovely woman I met at the retreat. It’s a quote from this book.When we were in the refurbished barn working on our #foragervest with Meg McElwee, she watched us machine sew, gave us step-by-step instructions for our vests, and gave us best practice pointers. She also acted as the Sewing Machine Whisperer, as many of the folks who flew in were using other people’s machines.

Meg encouraged us to take our scissors and seam rippers outside to work whenever we could, and to take regular breaks to walk around outdoors.Meg was also happy to answer questions about her patterns and show us the details of the clothes she was wearing, from the capsule wardrobe she wore on a summer trip to France with her family (because of flight delay, she came straight from her trip to our retreat!). We chatted about button holes over lunch. It’s a skill I haven’t mastered, and I went away feeling less intimidated by them.

Katrina Rodabaugh taught us about the history of Japanese sashiko and boro, and we learned several basic stitches. She also told us about her own journey into slow fashion, and talked to us about the handmade and hand-dyed clothes she wore each day. We each got a kit of mending supplies, and Katrina shared additional tools and thread with us as well. Piles of books were provided for us to look at and get ideas from on mending, dying, and embroidery, including Katrina’s own book.

Katrina and her studio assistant, Jamie, took care of most of the dye process since we didn’t have time to participate in it fully with the other things we were doing. On Sunday, each woman at the retreat was given a sampler of different pieces dyed using the flowers we’d picked on Friday. We were given pieces of wool, hemp, cotton, and linen, and a hand-stitched silk hankie, in beautiful, natural colors.We ate delicious lunches, one of which was made entirely from eggs and vegetables found on the block where the retreat was held. And unlike my last retreat, there were snacks between meals, which made this grazer very, very happy.

We ate outside, stitched outside, seam-ripped outside, and learned outside. All that fresh air, under a huge maple tree much like the one in my own backyard, had such a healing effect.I came home with an unfinished vest, and I’m still not sure how I want to finish the final pocket. I’m not stressed about it. When I came home Sunday night, I gave myself permission not to work on it any further, then worked on it a little further.

It will probably be a little while before I decide how I want to finish. <– Maybe even typing that sentence will give me the freedom to decide. I have so much respect for the different women who made it work to go to the retreat. Almost all were moms, and ladies came from all over the U.S., as well as Canada, to learn from Meg and Katrina. One thing I found from both retreats was the power of connecting with other women over our common bonds to family and the importance of personal history.It was hard to make so much small talk for three days! But there were a number of moments of deep connection that I’m really grateful for. That, our outdoor mending, and sewing in community were good for my soul.

It’s not every day you get to take a photo with the person who designed the dress you made, as I did above in my #metamorphicdress with Meg McElwee.