This past spring, I posted about our forlorn backyard. The space was characterized by packed dirt and scattered scrap metal. It was well into spring, I thought. I was sure that was as good as it got.

Then summer happened. Perennials re-seeded themselves in ever larger clumps. The scraggly grass filled in. And the yard started looking halfway decent.

I repaired, then scraped and painted our shed door with help from my team. I did very little gardening this summer. I didn’t have the energy. The few times I did get into the garden to work, I often heard neighbors  partying or laughing and talking with friends, which intensified my feelings of loneliness. The flowers thrived anyway.

The zinnia seeds I bought for Five’s birthday that we planted too late in the season burst forth in August in a rainbow of warm colors.We spent two hours one evening in the middle of one of my anxiety spirals doing a yard clean up. As I hauled scrap metal, raked leaves and maple tree helicopters, filled in the holes the kids are constantly digging, and pulled crab grass from where it didn’t belong, the tightly coiled part of me started to unwind.

Perhaps by sheer willpower, the bike frames we hauled to the back corner of the yard, out of sight, mostly stayed where we put them that evening. A perennial I added this year had the decency to stay alive after threatening not to.Last spring, our yard was a dismal place. I couldn’t see the promise.

Now, it’s a thriving green space surrounded by mounds of flowers. The grass grew so much we actually had to mow – twice this summer.

When we’ve been waiting for things to get better, we start to talk ourselves into settling. It’s a little different from acceptance – maybe there’s some resignation involved.

It’s easy to forget how much potential could be hiding just under the surface. Maybe you’re in that spot, where the next season is coming. You don’t feel quite ready, like you didn’t get everything out of the season that’s now passing. It feels like where you are is not great, and it’s not going to get better.

Perhaps there are still bald patches in your lawn, BB bullet holes in your shed siding.Our yard is a reminder that sometimes the potential for goodness is buried and needs a little more time. If you can, be patient with yourself as you wait for it to bloom.