This year, my oldest girl turns twelve and my youngest girl turns 6. Two will never be twice as old as Five again. Five, at six, is no longer a baby.

Neither of these girls has been easy to parent. Two is opinionated, dramatic, and bossy. Five developed a chip on her shoulder early on and is filtering the world through a lens that assumes she will be wronged.

Two is also incredibly caring and helpful when she wants to be. Five is tender and loving toward her best friend, Four, and the baby. They both add a unique flavor to our house.

On her birthday this past Thursday, I took Five to the home improvement store, where she picked out some perennial roots and flower and vegetable seeds. We went to the grocery store to get supplies for icing, then headed home, where I made homemade pizza at her request, despite Two’s insistence that what Five meant when she said pizza was takeout pizza. She had a chocolate cake made by her sisters, with pink frosting, the candles unlit since we couldn’t find a lighter.

Today is Two’s birthday. As I mentioned, she’s in Virginia this week with family friends, and it’s the first time we’ve been apart on her birthday. She is solidly in her teen years, despite her age, with variable moods and dramatic outbursts that leave the hair blown back from my face. It’s the time when the indignant glare is so sincere, you know you must keep a neutral expression in response, but that same sincerity makes it so hard not to giggle.

Two is infuriatingly unresponsive and slow when she wants to be, yet amazingly helpful and perceptive at other times. She can be sneaky, but also searingly honest. Her strengths are starting to show themselves with more clarity, as is her potential.

Neither of these girls is a peacemaker. Both of them are strong willed. I spend a lot of time with each of them teaching them how to communicate without assuming they know the other person’s heart.

This week, Five is the only girl out of the five kids who are home. And Two is away being independent and hopefully, having a lovely time. Will I survive without her help? Can I deal with another day of Five and Six bickering constantly?

I know this may seem like a lame big up. These girls drive me crazy nearly every day we are together. I also love them fiercely. When we communicate effectively, sometimes we are able to cut through all the garbage that builds up with modern life and human failure and solve problems together. These two young ladies challenge and reward in equal measure.