A friend from my Netherlands retreat recommended Richard Rohr to me. She didn’t give me a specific book to read. I knew since Rohr was a religious writer, that the Chaplain would probably be able to help me out, so I asked him. Sure enough, he went over to his bookshelf, and brought me Breathing Underwater: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps.
I had reservations about characterizing Rohr as a religious author because that word has so much baggage. I want to tell you that if it is a heavy word for you, if it makes you feel angry, or defensive, take a breath and stay with me.
We tell a double story about sin in the church. You sin because of Adam and Eve. When you sin, there are consequences for it. Parent your kids harshly? There will be a cost. Demonstrate unfaithfulness, selfishness, or pride? At some point, it will catch up to you in some way, big or small.
At the same time, we proclaim that by grace we have been saved through faith and not by our works so that no man can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9). God wants us to know that we weren’t reconciled by anything we’re capable of achieving on our own.
We have victory over sin, but we’re going to keep sinning and dealing with the consequences of that sin.
So where does that leave us?
At my retreat, we had several evenings of authentic relating exercises. The day after the trip, we were broken into groups of two for one of the exercises. We took turns repeatedly asking the other person, “What is holding you back?”
“Procrastination.”
“What is holding you back?”
“My impossibly high standards for myself.”
“What is holding you back?”
“Fear.”
“What is holding you back?”
“Worry that I’ll disappoint my parents/partner/kids.”
Etc., etc.
The thing about this line of questioning is that if you go deep enough, you start to realize most of the things that are holding you back are in your control.
Like I mentioned in this post, I often work a night shift just before we leave for our yearly Tobago trip. This time around, I scheduled myself off that weekend, so I tried something else instead. Another gong bath. This time, I went by myself.
Why are you telling me about another gong bath? You could rightly ask. After all, I’ve been to two already, and I’ve written about both. I think the reason why I want to write about this one, too, is that they’re all different.
I have a theory about preparing for disaster when traveling with kids: Whatever you are prepared for, that isn’t the disaster that will happen.
I’d rather pack light and have my hands free to deal with whatever comes my way, than to have neatly packed baggies with special treats, toys to give my kids on the plane, and a fresh change of clothes for everyone. Bare essentials for a five-hour flight?
