Archive October, 2018 - What The Red Herring
All Hallow’s Eve

All Hallow’s Eve

Halloween and I have a difficult past. I lived next door to a church growing up. We were regularly subjected to smashed pumpkins, raw eggs, and sometimes toilet paper.

The year I was seven was the last year I was allowed to Trick or Treat. After that, we didn’t “celebrate” Halloween anymore. We would close all our blinds and hunker down that night. We watched old musicals and ate candy. It became a tradition, and two other families joined us. We’d rotate houses, eventually ending up at the house of the family who lived furthest out in the country, and therefore got the fewest Trick-or-Treaters.

I grew up and had kids. I didn’t think much about Halloween, and my kids were too little to care.

Except One was in Pre-K at a Catholic school. And they did all kinds of seasonal activities. At the time, I was kind of shocked. Why were Christians celebrating Halloween? By then, I thought we didn’t. Among Evangelicals, it had kind of become a thing.

My kid learned what vampires were from that school, and I was pissed. I remember having an uncomfortable conversation with his teacher about it.

We started our own tradition of take-out pizza by candlelight on Halloween. I would watch the Trick-or-Treaters go by. There were lights on up and down the block. It was the only night most of our neighbors came out and talked to each other. I found myself wondering why we were staying out of it.

Educated

Educated

When my mom recommended Educated: A Memoir, by Tara Westover, to me, and then let me take a look at her 14-day loan library copy while I was visiting my parents for a few days, it was a recipe for trouble. I read it whenever I had a free moment, staying up late each night I was there, reading until 1 a.m. the night before I was leaving so that I could finish it. A fascinating read, the book is the memoir of a young woman who was raised with her six siblings in a fundamentalist Mormon home in Idaho. The book is beautifully written. The descriptive language is fantastic, although sometimes it felt a little gratuitous. The story had a great flow and used smaller stories with lots of tension to tell the larger arc of the story of her life. I found myself feeling a teensy bit sensitive reading it because I am a homeschooling mom of seven raising kids who I hope will someday own the faith I’m teaching them about in addition to their academic work. And lo and behold, my fears were a teensy bit well grounded. Let me tell you why.
Less Pain Than Expected

Less Pain Than Expected

This is me at 13, just before this whole saga began.

Endocrinology and I first got to know each other when I was 13. When I hit puberty, my thyroid went completely nuts. While I ate loads of food, I remained a featherweight and my period started, then stopped. My eyes started to bug a little, a classic sign of hyperthyroidism, and on a visit to my grandma’s house that summer, she realized something was off and suggested my parents take me to the doctor.

This began a really difficult phase of my life.

Teaching Kids Philanthropy

Teaching Kids Philanthropy

It has always been important to me for my kids to grow up to be financially literate. Especially with today’s world, where experts are predicting kids are going to struggle just to have the same standard of living their parents have, let alone surpass it.

My goals are that my kids know how to budget and plan, and that they know how to give. To that end, we have regular conversations about our money and theirs. We are real with them about budgeting, and they see me entering my receipts into Every Dollar, a DR (Dave Ramsey) app that helps you budget and track spending. For our homeschool, we read How to Turn $100 into $1,000,000: Earn! Save! Invest!, by James McKenna,‎ Jeannine Glista,‎ and Matt Fontaine. (In fact, I wrote an Amazon review on it that became surprisingly controversial.) It’s not a DR book, but the emphasis on saving and investment strikes a similar chord.

Teaching my kids about philanthropy has been a little more challenging. Our kids know that we support a couple of kids through different organizations. They write letters to our sponsored kid in South America. But since most of our giving happens online, in the form of automatic monthly withdrawals, they aren’t really seeing it happening. And I don’t always think to talk to them about it.

Last Christmas, a family friend had a great idea for a gift for our kids that was both creative, and helped solve the problem of how to teach your kids about giving.

My Girl B. Katie

My Girl B. Katie

When I first started reading Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, I was interested and intrigued. It felt like the next step with the books I’ve been reading, and it was going from Brené Brown’s discussion of how to exist in the external world back to a look at the interior life. The idea behind her process, which she calls The Work, is taking each idea from the story your mind is telling you about a situation and turning it on its head. This often makes the story seem ridiculous, which makes it easier to toss it, but many times it also reveals an underlying truth we hadn’t been able to admit to ourselves. I listened to the audio book, which I felt was particularly effective. It uses a narrator, Katie’s own voice, and recordings of Katie doing The Work at workshops with different individuals.  It was very powerful to listen to people working through their issues in real time with Katie. You could hear the other workshop participants in the background, laughing or otherwise responding to what was going on between Katie and the participant she was working with (or at very deep moments, hear their silence), and I cried more listening to this book than I have during any one book in quite some time.