I co-slept with One from the time he was the size of a football, curled up like a kitten on my chest. It was to maintain my sanity. As I got longer stretches of sleep, I transferred him into a bassinet, then a crib.

Because he was my first, as he got to be an older baby, then a toddler, he snuck his way into my bed some nights. Once he got there, he did what he had done since he was in my womb – he paced. He literally swam laps from the top of the bed to the bottom all night long. It was the pits.

But co-sleeping when he was a newborn was a total lifesaver. So was putting him to sleep on his belly.

I tried not to feel guilty about either of those things, but I didn’t tell a lot of people, either, because I knew I was breaking the rules.

Then, one of my nursing instructors gave me a gift my second year of nursing school. By then, I was pregnant with Two. The professor told us the inflammatory research about babies and SIDS had been based on studies where babies were being put to sleep on fluffy bedding, not the firm mattresses in the cribs and pack-n-plays we use now. She said having babies sleep on their bellies really wasn’t as huge a risk as it was being made out to be.

This taught me two things: First of all, that research can be sensationalized out of context, even within medicine. And secondly, my instincts had been right, and I should keep following them.

As a young mom, this was huge for me. I have felt insecure about many things, but most of the major decisions I’ve made about my parenting, I’ve been pretty sure about. My professor gave me the confidence to keep doing what I was doing.

Recently, NPR’s Goats & Soda blog featured a post about co-sleeping. Where my nursing professor confirmed my choice to let my babies sleep on their bellies, where they slept longer because they felt snug and safe, this article affirmed my choice to co-sleep.

As it turns out, with our risk factors, my kids were significantly more likely to be hit by lightning than they were to be smothered while sharing a bed with me. We had zero of the co-morbidities (I wasn’t under the influence, for instance, we’re a non-smoking house, and the babies were normal weight/full term infants).

Read the full article on the Goats & Soda blog on NPR’s website.

It makes me wonder how many moms listen to their doctors and sleep separately from their babies, and probably get a lot less sleep as a result?  And how many moms  go with their natural inclination and co-sleep with their babies, but feel they can’t talk about it for fear of judgement?

There is an expectation for parents in my generation to be perfect. Perfectly involved, perfectly providing just the right, healthy, safe environment for our kids, all the time. The only way it seems that we are allowed to medicate ourselves in this impossible world while remaining socially acceptable? Enjoying a glass of wine in the evenings. And I don’t drink wine.

I don’t LIKE being told what to do. I sure don’t like being told how to parent. But what really makes me bristle is that in this world where we are supposed to be Doing Everything Right All The Time, some of the information we’re basing Perfect on isn’t even right, or at least, it’s a whole lot more nuanced than the gate keepers let on. We are being guilt-tripped with false advertising.

I hope moms give themselves the freedom to make common sense choices about how they run their own circuses, and not feeling pressured to Do Everything Right, which means, Do Everything Someone Else’s Way.

Within reason, folks, do it your way.

Sooner or later, a study will probably prove you were right.