For homeschool devotions, we are reading Rediscover Jesus: An Invitation, by Matthew Kelly. It was handed out at our church during Lent.

The the book was written for grown ups, but on a very basic level; I’m guessing third grade. The only thing that makes it adult is that the examples he uses to illustrate points are ones that primarily relate to work, marriage, parenting, etc. I mainly edited these references on the fly to either eliminate things my kids wouldn’t get, or mostly, change the examples to ones kids would relate to. I incorporated my own examples about school, duty as it relates to being a kid (obedience, chores, etc.), friendships, and siblings.I have appreciated the bite-sized chapters. In them, Kelly challenges us to add practices to our lives to help grow our faith. He supports his claims with his examples and with scripture. He gives the reader things to do right now  – ways to start small with direction to take it to the next level with time.

A couple of days ago, chapter was “Comfortably Comfortable.” The subject? The importance of self denial in spiritual growth.

At the beginning of April, I went to this marriage intensive with my husband. Surprisingly, a lot of the work we did was on our individual selves and learning about taking personal responsibility for what we bring to our relationship. I learned a lot, but my primary homework was to allow myself to be accepted by God, and to consider myself worthy of love and care.

Guys? That is SO HARD. I had already begun that work before I left for the intensive because I knew it was an area of weakness. How can I live out my faith walk before my kids, with the premise that I am saved by grace, if I don’t forgive or love myself?

And so we read a chapter about self denial. The whole time I was reading it, I was feeling uncomfortable. I often have a similar gut-level reaction to something, but life has caused me to doubt that it’s telling me the truth. Whether or not I’m paying attention to the sensation, it usually takes me hours to have a lightbulb moment about what caused it.

That afternoon, we were driving to our favorite local park and I realized what it was. In all the talk of self denial, Kelly had never balanced it with the need to take care of ourselves.

As my husband reminded me in the car when I mentioned it to him, taking care of oneself is as biblical as self denial.

In the Gospels, Jesus going off to be by himself when he needed some space? That is what lets me know he gets me.

I spend many days getting progressively more tired, hungry, and cranky as I’m caring for my kids and I forget to give myself what I need. By the time I finally realize I am hungry and overstimulated, it can feel like it’s too late to fix what’s wrong.

While some things about our faith journey are pretty straight forward: Love God, love your neighbor as you love yourself – how we do those things doesn’t feel simple at all.I’ve been thinking about how to send my kids the right message about the balance between self care and self denial. It IS important to say no to ourselves, to live disciplined lives. It’s also important to recognize our own needs and meet them. It will put us in a better place to serve others.

Is this something you’ve thought about? Do you feel like you’ve gotten to a good place with self care, or do you spend a lot of time coasting on fumes? If you have kids, do you like the example you’ve set in this area?