A few days ago, my oldest daughter was at a church event with kids her age all day. Not long after, she mentioned to me quietly that she found out that day that she was the only kid there with only one pair of shoes.

I asked her a few questions, and more information came out about what had happened over the next day or so.

I felt really sad that it was at a church function where my kid began to feel insecure about Stuff. I had to think about it for a while before I came back to her about it.

I asked her if she felt bad about owning only one pair of shoes before she went to the event. She said no. I asked her if her shoes had changed at all. She said no. We talked about growing feet and how awesome her one pair of shoes is. I reminded her that she has boots, and that the shoes she has are great for everything else. The elastic laces I got her for Christmas mean they can be tightened if needed, but otherwise she can wear them however she wants. They are fun, colorful, and totally match my kid’s personal style.

I think she’s in a better place now, but I also know from experience that once the seed of insecurity has been planted, it’s very difficult to root it out again.

One of the many benefits of homeschool is delaying the realization that there are strict societal standards many kids feel they have to live up to. I LOVE that my kids apologetically wear hand-me-downs mixed with the new items they get and they aren’t afraid to do their own thing style-wise. This recent experience reminded me that I will soon be sending a second child into the world of Cool and Not Cool and that she is going to have to decide how much she is willing to bend to fit in, even with church friends, even with other homeschoolers.

I hope that I can help her develop into a self confident girl who isn’t too worried about what other people think. This was just one test of many.