I’ve read so many tips for easing travel with kids, and most of them involved mess or more work for the parents (individually wrapped gifts to be opened hourly on the flight, anyone?) And any parent knows that if your kid is having a certain kind of day, NOTHING you do is going to help.

With something like this, you just have to say a prayer and put on your game face.

We awoke at 3:30 a.m. and left for the airport around 4:30 a.m. The first flight is the long one, about five hours. We made it to the airport in time, checked our bags, got through the rudeness and unmasked shock at our bunch – who were in matching shirts and very well behaved at that point, so really, nothing to see here. Everyone did great on the plane, making friends with a seatmate, entertaining themselves, and thankfully only needing the airplane water closet of horrors about four times, which equals twice per parent and was likely a record low. But the almost-three year old would not sleep.

Things started to fall apart when we landed in Trinidad, where we take a brief connecting flight to Tobago. Immigration lines were sluggish, and because it was our “point of entry,” we had to get all our bags back and check them again before the short flight, which we found had been cancelled. We were placed on another flight, but it didn’t give us enough time to eat because there were lines, everywhere, for everything.

The kids had removed their matching shirts, as planned, for the tank tops and t-shirts underneath. We hadn’t had a proper meal since a delicious and filling breakfast on the first flight, and granola bars were barely cutting it. At least three different children sat down on the floor and refused to move at one point or another. Some of the kids were repeat offenders.

When we finally made it to our connecting flight, we found we had been placed in first class. Not realizing this when we were booked, we hadn’t even thanked the thoughtful woman who made it happen. The flight was delayed, but we didn’t care, because we were each relaxing in our own huge armchair. The overly exhausted preschooler finally fell asleep. When we finally took off, I was sorry the flight was only fifteen minutes! That connecting flight is usually the worst part of the trip. On a smaller, louder, hotter plane, it is so short that the take off and landing blend together and it usually feels like a fifteen minute roller coaster ride in an armpit with an engine.

After the second flight lands, it’s always a little overwhelming. We are loading up the three cars it takes to get to The Compound, and the kids are seeing family that they haven’t met before, in the baby’s case, or haven’t seen in a year or two. There was a fair amount of crying from the littlest littles. We arrived about 12 hours after we’d left that morning.

There is a sense when you’re traveling, you can never really relax. Kids add an extra layer of needs and tension to that equation. But knowing it will be crazy, overstimulating, and exhausting can help you get your head in the right place, put on your big girl pants, and make it happen.

And as hard as it was, I will do it again and again and again, because travel is amazing for your soul and your mind. Long trips with kids are pretty terrible sometimes. They are also incredible and meaningful, with personal growth for all.

Just get your game face on, and hang in there for the ride.

Looking for specific tips that aren’t ridiculous? Check out this post.