There is an anxiety with packing for a big trip. I fear that I’ll forget something that I can’t get while I am away. I might pack things in the wrong bags and end up checking a bag with something I need, keep something in a carryon that airport security will confiscate, or pack something we’ll need right away that ends up migrating in its suitcase and becomes impossible to find.

Taking a big family from the Northeast to the Caribbean is no joke. Starting with some of our first trips when our oldest kids were small, I made packing notes: things I wish I had brought, what I didn’t need, and exactly what to pack. There are lists by age and gender – one each for the grown ups, a girl list, a boy list, and a baby list. For this year’s trip, we ended up with 8 backpack carryons, an infant carseat, and five checked bags.

On short domestic trips, kids as old as four or five can pack for themselves with an illustrated sticky note and some help from an older sibling. Sometimes someone ends up packing no pants, but that’s a good learning experience, right? With the exception of my oldest, who is a teenager and arrived with no underwear on our visit two years ago, I won’t take those chances for this type of trip, so I pack for everyone, including my husband, since his busiest time at work typically occurs right before we leave.

I am a big believer in percolating. I packed our bags just a day or two before we left, but I was reviewing my packing notes and thinking purposefully about it for weeks. A week or more before we left, I started putting things I wanted to bring in a pile (an unread magazine, an adult coloring book, my camera’s battery charger). About 4 days before we left, I had each kid deliver all their summer clothes in a pile to my room. This works great since we are traveling to a warm place in the middle of winter, so they are bringing me clothes they don’t need before we go, but you could do something similar, like in the child’s room with all their drawers open, if you were traveling to a climate similar to your current season.

If you get a head start, this pre-packing sort works as a way to keep an inventory of your kids’ clothes. Anything that is in really bad shape or too small gets pulled out, and dirty clothes are laundered. Then, I start looking at the rest so that “6 lightweight shorts” on my master packing notes becomes six actual shorts that fit the bill.

Logically, most of us realize that things you leave behind can usually  be replaced when you get there, with the exception of your favorite snacks, which you may only be able to find stateside (that didn’t stop me from going to multiple stores in Tobago looking for trail mix or its ingredients on an early trip here. Now, we bring big bags of it). But knowing I can replace things or be adventurous and go without isn’t very comforting to me. Frugality and organization are important to me, and if we splurge on the trip, it is much more fun to do it on something we want, than on what we already have and could have brought from home. Plus, this is vacation! We homebodies like the excitement of travel but want the comforts of home, too.

Another consideration that takes some planning is our first aid kit. I save up clear zippered pouches like the ones sheet sets come in ahead of time, and once again refer to my trusty master packing notes. The things we need typically overlap with what we stock at home, like bandaids, antibiotic cream, pain killers for children and adults,  and natural cough medicine, but allergy meds, bug spray, and several different itch creams help us stay comfortable while we are in the tropics.

Since different countries don’t always have the same medications and may not call them by the same names, having meds from home gives me the safety of confident dosing should we need it. With our trip, I have the special benefit of a sister-in-law who is a nurse I can call if we got out of our depth with local options, and both she and my mother-in-law have lots of natural remedies as well. Being fiercely independent, though, I like to have the tools to give it a go myself before asking for help.

Now, once the bags are packed, then it’s all about getting there.